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Bridegroom Friction

A true romantic story of our hero the Stuntman Friction.

Author – Joddy Street

Co-Author – Jim Street

Do Leave Comments, enjoy reading.

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Chuk-2, chuk-2, the train moved, the clinking sound that tyres made with rail were soothing, chilly breeze on the face felt incredible (some another word).  I was looking outside the window, and far-2 away the orange light was filling the blue, it was like the painters imagination perfectly painted on canvas, and its beauty enchanted me. I heard a moan beside me, and slowly looked down at the birth, it was my buddy Friction, slowly waking up. I liked the first scene better, so I went back looking outside the window, and suggested frici too to take a look at the nature’s perfection in art, he made another sound (it was disgusting), and buried his face deep in his arm. We were already in Kerela, and in another two hours, we would be at our destination. I smiled unintentionally, thinking about our mission in Kerala. Friction was in love for a long time, and today he was to meet his gf’s father and ask for her hand.

An hour later, friction woke up, and yawned asking me for time, I told him the time, he sat straight for some time, yawning all the time, with as big yawn as his mouth can open. Then he faced me, and started talking

F: “ciggi hai kya?”

J:”sale, badboo maar raha hai tera moonh, udehr kar ke bol ya bol hi mat.”

F:”ciggi hai kya?”

J:”ab kya ulti kara ke hi manega? Bol mat!! bol mat bhai please, bag mian padi hai. Ja, aur chup!!”

He went to the bathroom, smoked, brushed, came back, sat down, took a paper form his pocket, and started reading it. He would have read it 100 times already, but, since it was the letter that he was to give to his gf’s dad, he read it again. I got irritated, and told him to shove the letter up in his ass, he stared at me, then went back to reading it, I spoke again, “itna padha hota, to 10th class first time main pass kar leta”. He punched me in biceps, put the letter in his bag, and sat straight with angry expression. I realized my fault, ask him to pardon me, he didn’t change his expression, neither looked at me, I said ”aisi shakal se tune uss ke beti mangi, to tujh se pehle apne bhangi ko consider karega vo. ”. He laughed, I laughed and we were cool. We chatted about whole lot of possibilities, about what would happen?

Train stopped, our station had come, we pulled up bags on shoulder, and stepped out. It was a pleasant day, bit chilly morning. I was already in love with Kerala. We stepped out of station, and a wave of auto-rickshaw drivers surrounded us, talking rapidly in malyalam, well I confess I am dark, but not exactly looked like keral guy. We waved them away, and asked one sitting few meters away, he told in malyalam 200 rs would be charge, well I do know numeric  in telgu, I did my training in hyd city for two months,  to be clear. I told friction what he said, Friction told drier to fuck off. Driver:”Fucks you!! sisterfucker, you think only you know English”, accent was good American typo, for once I thought he was a nigger, hence took a closer look, bushy mustaches, shiny head, heavy built, that could only be made by consuming 2 kg rice per-day, and dark brown colored skin, made me believe that he was typical a “anna”. And it was reasonable too, only Indians drive auto in America, and vice-versa would be rare, I think.  We started laughing out loud, hired his auto, and reached the so long awaited destination. Auto-rickshaw driver charged us reasonably but he never stopped talking in English. Driver left us outside a house, and waved goodbye:”tata fuckers”.

It was a big house, big white house, surrounded by all the possible greenery. Friction couldn’t hold back the temptation and ringed the bell. I heard the clicking of door knobs, so I came forward to look who’s there? On the main gate I read the sign “beware of dogs”, and the front gate flung open, all I could see was a bear, a huge bear (aaahh!! Look at the smile on your faces people, always thinking about alcohol. Not beer, “bhaalooo”). Bear spoke: “who’s there?” it was a heavy voice and sounded like growl. Friction replied:”letter sir”.

Bear:”ohh!! Postman, nice dress they giveaway to postman these days.” And got lost thinking about his young ages, when he wore red shirt and yellow trousers, bear smiled. Friction voice wake him up,” no sir, not a postman”

Bear:”then who are you?”

Friction:”sir a letter for you”

Bear:”idiot, answer the question first, who are you?”

Friction:”rajasthani”

Bear:”you think I am a fool, yes I can tell where you are from, I can tell about that person beside you, he’s hydrabadi” and greeted me in kannad.

I felt rage inside, yes I am dark, wander in sun too much, but what the fuck, from which angle do I look like a hyderabadi??

Friction:”no sir he’s rajasthani too, he’s with me, and I am Friction.”

Bear:”you are proving me wrong again, who the hell are you?” he shouted.

I came forth, and answer the question, as politely as I could have, after hearing that I’m hydrabadi,

Jdy:”sir, he’s friction, he has a letter for you, if you could permit him, he wants to hand it over to you.”

He called us in. While climbing the footsteps, friction slipped, and went straight for the foot of bear, bear got impressed thought friction was touching his foot for “aashirvaad” [blessings]. And sudden change of mood came in; bear invited us in the house.

We followed the bear, he told us to sit our asses down, in a better language, I followed, but friction waited for bear to sit, so I stood up again. The bear sat down, and we heard the most painful screech, made by the sofa, I tried not to put my hands on the ears, but they failed me, as they fail me in exams, and invlountarily they want straight up to save my sensitive ears, friction winced a bit, bear gave me scornful look, what could have I done, m just another masooom [innocuous me]. As we sat down, bear opened the letter,

bear:”this letter is too long”

friction:”give it to me sir, I’ll read it”

me:”he knows english too, right sir?”

bear gave me another shot  from the corner of his eyes, i shrugged, my motives were clearly to get my impression back on track, alas!!

Bear started reading the letter, and all of a sudden he stopped, and  gave the killer look to friction,

bear:”who wrote this letter?”

friction:”why sir? what happened?”, then looked me in questioning manner, i just moved my sholders, saying i don’t know man.

bear:”the asshole who wrote this letter is callineg me a chootiya[asshole], he has overwritten the uncle word. Who the hell is the writer?”

Friction now understood, and gave me the most dangerous look he ever could, was a bit funny you know, I just smiled. What more? I wrote that, thinking friction would ask HK to go with him, he did ask HK, but HK was busy in flying dog by mental thoughts, so to his utter dissapointment he asked me, and i almost forgot what I had done, till this very moment. Friction:”Sir, the writer didn’t meant that, its just some asshole who puuled the joke, ad its not on you, its on me, I am sorry”

Bear growled:”I ASKED YOU, WHO THE HELL WROTE THE LETTER?, ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE? DEAF? OR JUST TOO DUMB?”

well bear got one thing correct, friction was dumb.

Friction, faced down, in his voice there was deepest remourse I have ever heard, replied poiletly, and voice sounded like he was on verge of crying: “Sir, I wrote the letter, but somebody made the changes, I never mean anything wrong about you. I am sorry for the mischief, and take full resposiblility.”

Damn! that was a brillient answer, sounded like HR of some company, and bear came back to normal state, his eyebrows (looked like he could have lieces there too, that bussy), came to normal state, frown went away.

He gave letter to friction, friction took it with shaking hand. Bear saw this, and became more polite, asked friction to cool down, he didn’t mean to scream, it was just a bit upsetting, being called .. you know what. Smile came back on friction’s lips, and he started reading the letter aloud to bear.

In the end of the letter, these words came out of fricitons mouth: “I want your daughter’s hand”

A foul smile came on bears’ lips, he came in playfull mood, and asked sarcastically :”which hand?”

Friction:”any hand”

Bear:”anyway, tell me, which hand?”

Friction:”sir right would do.”

bear:”she writes with that hand”

Friction:”i dont mean ” his voice was supressed by bear’s next yelling

Bear:”I DONT CARE WHAT YOU MEAN ASSHOLE? I ASKED YOU QUESTION, HAVE’T I? TELL ME, HAVE YOU FLUNKED SOMETIME?”

Me:”yes sir, 10th class”, and I laughed ou loud, but it became an awkward laugh, like bike coming to halt after applying disk breaks, discreetly with hickups voices, i stopped laughing, and looked down.

Bear:”hmmm”

Friction:”sir, then left hand”

Bear smiled mockingly, “she washes, you know what with that hand. What would become of her after that hand gone? Would you wash her  ahem-ahem” I thought fucking bastard talikng shit for her own daughter. But he was angry, too angry, and was a respected man around, so can’t make a scene by making us leave, so he continued asking rude and too rude questions.

Friction :”sir, dont take me as a wrong guy, I have left all the girls for your daughter?”

Bear:”so my daughter made you homosexual, what you call these days,a gay?”

Friction:”no sir, what i mean is, i just love you daughter, and she is a girl”

Bear:”OFFCOURSE YOU ASSHOLE, SHE IS A GIRL”

Friction:”I didnt mean that sir, i mean I am not a gay, and I love your daughter.”

Friction continued, bear tried to speak, but friction was the winner, :”sir, i have plnned it all out, I’ll do MBA in 3 years, till then she’ll graduate, and we’ll marry”

Bear:”3 years?”

me:”risk included sir, if he fails, then what? YOu wont get this much organised bridegroom”

Both looked at me with grate rage, well I didnt understand, sala I was trying to help.

Bear:”so if you fail twice, you calculation goes wrong then”

I thought, don’t y ou say that calculation is wrong, he’ll need a calculator to add one. I remember the night, the rigrous work being done by friction over the calculation presented to the bear.

Friction:”Sir, I just want to be your daughter’s future. And I wasn’t talking about flunking, I would do job for an year, then apply for MBA, I won’t fail”

Bear:”If you do?”

Me:”send your daughter to do MBA sir.”

Bear slowly moved his eyes to me, and to his disspointment, I was looking at the  cieling, was a must see cieling man. So he looked away.

Friction again got his attention,”Sir, I am a good singer, dancer, stuntman, and I’ll keep your daughter happy, forever and  ever and ever” Friction lost in his thoughts of old hindi movies, heroine running to hero, hero running towards the heroine, in a too slow motuion, after 5 minutes of running, they meet  and hug each other, and camera looked up showing birds making out. And tears came in friction’s eyes.

———————————————End of Part 1—————————————————

———————————————    Part 2       —————————————————–

It would fill you with information about how friction managed to get a yes on his proposal.

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16 Responses

  1. Gaurav says:

    hahaah gr8 love story………friction weds anni…!!!

  2. peeyush says:

    khatarnaak joddy sir…xceptional story…waitin 4 da nxt part
    gharshan ji ke studaape ke kisso ke to kya kehne…hahha

  3. Pranay Choudhary says:

    hhmmm
    bridegroom friction is now looking for girl to get marriedbut this time it is not as intresting
    as stuntman friction
    hope in second part the friction will get the hand of the bear’s daughter otherwise bechara ciggi pee pee key mar jayega l0l!!!

    • joddy says:

      Well there was no action in the story, pure imagination, not every movie wins an Oscar, not every book wins a Booker, I want you to laugh, just enjoy please don’t compare, in future I’ll write better thanx for the critics. I need critics for my own improvement, Thank You again Pranay.

  4. Bharat says:

    😀
    😀
    ahahhahahahhahahah!!
    Masooom Gharshann!

    Nicely written..
    I like the bear throughout

    Aur waise bhi jab kisi ka kat ta hai toh mujhe bada maza aata hai..

    Waiting for part 2..

  5. Pratyush says:

    awsm posst bro…………
    abhi tak pet dard kr rha hai yar,
    n i mst gv an advice,
    plzz sensitive jagahon pe mt bola karo,
    bechara fric pehle hi stunt ke baad ghayal ho gya tha apke comments, ab to chhod to bechare ko …..

  6. dksh says:

    kutte!
    waah ,,,

    tera dimag bhi chalta hai
    aweso plot!! old thou but new imaginations!!
    :X

  7. Kamal Deep says:

    A much better fairy-tale/fantastical read, with much more meat on its bones

  8. Vaibhav Vijay says:

    Well wat to say I already told u joddy that dis crap is wonderfull and no need to be defensive about me!! 😛
    As friction is transformed from person to character 😀 .. all yours!!…EJOYY!!!

    – Friction

  9. Danish Ahmed says:

    nice and funny story and yes the idea of the BEAR was amazing. …. Kudos to your storytelling.

  10. nikhilkedilse says:

    hehehe…. the best part…
    “HK was busy in flying dog by mental thoughts”

    indeed a good read… waiting for rest …

  11. Gagan Mani says:

    Occupying !!!!! …..

  12. Gagan Mani says:

    nice stuttering love story … w8ting for part 2 …..

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